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$25,000

WORK KILLS®

  • Registration Number: 4,685,999
  • Registered in: US
  • Int. Class: 21 (U.S. CLS. 2, 13, 23, 29m 30, 33, 40 and 50) 25 (U.S. CLS. 22 and 39)
  • Usage Status: In Use

Description

A business analysis of the WORK KILLS trademark, No. 4,685,999, reveals that it has tremendous potential to make a great deal of money because it covers housewares and glass products such as coffee mugs and beer steins besides clothing.

The words “WORK KILLS” are a double entendre. On one hand it suggests loafing on the job but on the other it can also mean “safety first” for those engaged in dangerous occupations such as policemen, firemen, soldiers, sailors, marines, linemen, fishermen, nurses, miners, Uber and Lyft drivers, and truckers.

The trademark has the potential to change the narrative for a cup of coffee from “joe” or “java” to “WORK KILLS.” Put WORK KILLS on a coffee mug to remind the drinkers to be careful and it is natural for them to start referring to their morning coffee as “Gotta have my WORK KILLS in the morning to get me going.” This is not farfetched because it could become slang for “safety first” since language is constantly changing. The purchaser might persuade a fraternal brotherhood of the police and firemen to license the trademark for their shirts. A Congressman on an Armed Services Committee in the House or Senate could be persuaded to introduce the purchase of a license for all military mess halls in the interest of safety in a budget amendment which could result in millions of dollars of revenue on an on-going basis.

When this happens the purchaser will be able to “double-down” because the domain name “WorkKillsCoffee.com” is included in this purchase. Another domain name, “WorkKillsBeer.com” is also included. All the purchaser has to do is to buy a domain at GoDaddy.com. Since these domain names are parked at GoDaddy.com, the Seller can easily have these domain names switched to the purchaser’s account.

A “hip” corporation, one which appeals to the youth demographic, can have its logo placed below “WORK KILLS” on the front of the shirt. Then on the back the 121 reasons why work kills can be printed in columns on the back as follows:

stuck in commuter traffic
obnoxious personalities
nasty office politics
forever rising quotas
uncompensated overtime
discrimination of every sort
the boss’ nepotism
job outsourcing
being replaced by an app
back aches
no pension
smelling bad breath
taking high blood pressure medicine
net glitches
forced training of idiots
cell phone being used as an electronic leash
day dreaming
wearing a security card
faking smiles and laughs
signing birthday cards
the consequences of deliberately withheld messages
rescheduling vacations
missed family dinners and weekends
fighting for commissions
withholding taxes
hacking
staying fashionable on a limited income
worry
pressure
forever changing regulations
lawyers
veiled threats
office colds
seasonal exposure to flu and colds
gossip
lunches at desk
liars and lying
sadism
customer theft
trade secrets
broken promises
three dimensional filing
paranoia
failing memory
making excuses
boredom
keeping schedule straight
unfair competitors
elevator music
jealously
worst case scenarios
avoiding responsibility
brown nosing
union dues and indifference
public humiliation
carpal tunnel
clock watching
coffee diet
controlling temper
daily countdown to quitting
cubbyhole claustrophobia
CYA for everything
dead end job syndrome
digitalization
dirty tricks and practical jokes
double crossing
downsizing
impeccable experience discounted by management,
faked loyalty
fatigue
fear of audits
flirting for leverage
forced training of foreign replacement here on H21b visa
glass ceiling
globalization
hiding yawns
interruptions
it’s sunny outside
realization that I’m just a number that can be replaced at Boss’ whim
knife in the back
layoffs
losing ground on paying bills
mandatory attendance at office
maddening micro management
necessity to network
the realization that the net cancels hard-earned personal contacts
never positive feedback
never ending diet,
escape walk,
night shift,
never credit for stolen idea,
never positive feedback,
no exercise
not receiving a living wage
no control over office temperature
need to place blame else ware
to-do-lists
protect reputation
rainmaking or perish
retribution for telling the truth
sabotage
sadistic boss
second job
serve coffee duty
sick leave limitation
surveillance cameras 24/7 and email monitoring
knowing that the grass is always greener anywhere else
unequal pay
unfair performance evaluation
unfilled sex
write offs
“yes” workers
fluorescent lighting
knowing that my work is meaningless
burnout

Viola!! All of a sudden the wearer, besides being the center of attention, is a walking billboard for the corporation and every kid will want one because, even though they haven’t really had their bad work experiences yet. Maybe it will make them wise up!

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